A Year In Review

Today is the last day of the year 2010. It is something of a tradition on this day to spend some time looking back on the year that has gone by, thinking and reflecting on the events which have occurred.

Normally, I do so privately. This year, I am doing a portion of it publicly -- on this blog.

For me, the year started off with the Zakh Price case. There are some situations that you just can't leave alone; for me, that was one of them. I won't discuss what my role in the whole matter was, but I did play one. I don't know if I, personally, made a difference... but I don't really care. As of the last I heard from the family (which was late summer or early fall), Zakh was doing quite well... and the situation had been resolved in a favorable fashion. In my honest opinion, that's all that really matters.

In other news, Andy Wakefield lost his medical license that month, and I very much enjoyed the 2010 CARD conference (although it was marred by one highly bigoted pseudo-scientist pretending at a neurology presentation). I was actually at the conference (or, more accurately, in my room at the conference hotel) when I found out about Wakefield, and it was all I could do to avoid waking my neighbors with a whoop of joy.

Then I got back and immediately (i.e. the very next day) went in for a much-needed knee surgery. I was on crutches for more than two months.

I discovered that the James Randi Educational Foundation is physically located not that far from my house... down the street from a psychic and across the street from a chiropractor. I've very much enjoyed their periodic open houses... and Randi himself is quite entertaining (and a breath of fresh air).

On the advocacy front, the Geiers moved into my metaphorical backyard and started peddling the "wonders" of chemical castration to the parents of local autistic children, shielded by a number of highly-influential political figures and using a local radiologist as their local patsy. I've been trying to "deal with" them ever since.

I got into a long and protracted series of misunderstandings that I still can't figure out a way to rectify (and that is still bothering me). Actually, that technically started last year... but it continued (and got a great deal worse) this year.

I resumed the MS Counseling program at Nova Southeastern University... and promptly had my first major issue with a postgraduate professor. It says something when it takes a flat-out written statement of intent to discriminate (in the form of deducting points for autistic literalism) for me to consider something a "major issue". I also got my first postgraduate B... in his class. Had it been any lower, I'd have challenged it; as is, I have the written notice available and thoroughly documented to show anyone who questions me about it.

Honestly, what sort of professor does something like that in writing? Seriously!

In a bit of irony, it was actually a bit worse: I received that written statement literally the week before I was scheduled to speak at Autreat. I'll get back to that in a bit, but the sheer hilarity of the timing has lead to a number of jokes since... especially since the professor was aware of both my diagnosis and my presentation.

I also did a brief internship at a small local school for individuals with severe developmental and intellectual disabilities. The kids there were very interesting (and very different from any population I'd previously worked with). Incidentally, for any parent from here on who tells me that I don't know what kids like theirs are like (to insinuate that their child is more severely disabled than any I've worked with)... yes, I do. Working with that population can be a serious mind-fuck, and I do not shy away from the use of that particular vulgarity in this case.

Then my internship ended (with the end of the academic year) and I started working for a behavior services company in Dade County. I've been doing part-time human resources work for them... which does, at least, help pay my expenses.

And, of course, I gave my first conference presentation: a presentation on pseudoscientific medicine in the field of autism. I've done related blog posts here and here, and I posted the PowerPoint slides to the Autreatinfo Yahoo group. I've also uploaded the slides here, if anyone wants to take a look. (Note that I verbally departed from them at several points. I'd be more than happy to explain in more detail if anyone asks in the comments.)

The presentation was two hours long, involved one hundred and fifty-five PowerPoint slides (of which five were references and suggested further reading), and contained thirty reference citations (not counting duplicates). During the preparation, I read far more than this -- my lit review for the thing involved over two hundred peer-reviewed articles and five books... of which, two were med-school textbooks.

Thinking back to that time, I am astounded that I managed to keep my sanity. I was, for a while, not only recovering from knee surgery (on crutches), but doing that internship, preparing that presentation, continuing my advocacy work, and taking a course load and a half of postgraduate classes. Yes, I took 150% of a semester's postgraduate coursework over the summer... on top of everything else. It was not particularly smart of me, and I really haven't quite fully recovered from all of that. The fact that most of my "recovery" time was spent working part time while taking a full course load (not, fortunately, the extra-full course load I took on over the summer) of classes while working part time certainly didn't help. My active participation in various student organizations and continuation of my advocacy work didn't help, either.

Fall, by contrast, was fairly... routine. There were a couple of crises which I can't really talk about, and work has been rather frustrating for reasons that I also can't talk about here, but I tried to use the time to recover. I failed.

I also grew pretty thoroughly sick of the MS Counseling program for a variety of reasons, most of which focus on the high bullshit content of many of the courses. I will be reviewing my "diversity studies" textbook later, but I've already reviewed my so-called "ethics" text. Of the two, the "ethics" book was the better one.

As the year pulls to a close, though, I'm filled with some degree of renewed optimism. For one thing, I've switched programs as of the upcoming semester (and I sincerely hope that the MS General Psychology program will actually involve considerations of evidence!). For another, my new program is a thesis program... which means actual research as part of my graduation requirements!

I suspect that several of my regular readers will find my thesis of interest... and yes, I do already know exactly what I'm going to be doing for my thesis. I will comment more on it after I've actually started doing it... but I suspect that one reader of this blog will find it very interesting: it falls under the category of behavioral sciences meta-research and was actually inspired by some of her comments.

The change won't delay my graduation too much... but my new classes are ones which I can hopefully actually enjoy. I am very much looking forward to them.

Hopefully I'll be able to catch up on my accumulated e-mails sometime next year. I'm something like three thousand behind...

So, in conclusion... for everyone reading this, happy new year!

Edit: Corrected a really embarrassing typo.

Answering Machines

I hate answering machines. I really, really do. I hate voicemail, too.

Okay, so I don't really hate mine. I can listen to messages someone else has left me just fine.

I just have trouble leaving messages.

And yes, this can act as a barrier to employment -- I get incredibly awkward when trying to leave someone a message... and three guesses what that does to the impression my message leaves a potential employer with?

On Frustration

Throughout my clinical career, there have been a number of things which I've very much wanted to say, but haven't for a variety of reasons. These range from me being generally too polite to actually say them to me believing that doing so would be counterproductive.

For a variety of reasons, this post has been backdated. I won't say when -- or where -- I wanted to say these things, although I will elaborate (somewhat) on the contexts if asked. I also will freely edit this post to add additional unsaid comments as they occur -- and will not remark on my so doing. I won't necessarily add them to the end of the lists, either.

For the most part, all of this is to prevent these comments being tied to any given workplace or person. Given the nature of some of these, they could damage the reputations or careers of the people involved, and that is not my intention. It is, however, my intention to highlight some of the things that go on in the clinical field... and why I greatly prefer academia.

To professionals:

• If I'm implementing an extinction program, please don't undermine my efforts and reinforce an extinction burst.
• This goes double if the program is for aggression. Do you think it's easy to not react when a child is hitting you? Those punches can hurt.
• Damnit, when a child hits a teacher, the correct response is emphatically not to give the child cake!
• For the love of God, lady, how the Hell did you manage to pass the BCaBA exam without knowing what extinction is?
• Lady, I read the clinical research for fun. If I'm doing something you don't understand, just ask me. I'd be more than happy to explain. If you just interrupt, undermine my efforts, and then blame me when things get worse, it really isn't going to help my opinion of you or of your professional conduct.
• If you have a behavior plan to work on, please don't work on it in the classroom while the kids are just sitting there, bored. It's not only unprofessional, it's actively against the best interests of the children. This goes double if the plan isn't even for one of the kids in the classroom.
• If you work two full-time jobs which involve acting as caretaker of a mix of autistic children and adults, I am bloody well going to assume that you know what autistic literalism is. I am also going to assume that you know what autism is. Proving these assumptions wrong is not a good way to impress me with your professionalism.
• I attempt to hold myself to very high standards of both professionalism and compotence. However, I also expect certain minimum standards of these from my colleagues. If you are working as a behavior therapist, this means that I expect you to know what certain basic concepts -- like "extinction" and "reinforcement" -- are, and I do not expect you to attempt to ridicule me for using these terms.
• I had more than enough bigotry and ridicule during my secondary education, thank you very much.
• Anti-autistic bigotry and ridicule of autistic difficulties have no place whatsoever in a special education environment. Yes, I very much will complain to our boss about these things if you engage in them.
• Lady, I'm autistic -- with all that implies. I flat-out told you that well before I ever started to work with you. If you don't understand what that means, you have no business working in a school for autistic children. You have less business trying to teach them.
• If you need something, bloody tell me. I'm not necessarily going to pick up on it intuitively.
• If a child has been warehoused -- and probably abused -- for half of her life, chances are that institutional damage is a factor. More than a little sympathy and kindness is called for.
• Please stop talking in front of the children as if they weren't there.
• Your bigoted rant is making me physically ill. The fact that it is being made in front of the children is not a redeeming factor.
• ... you have two autistic sisters, work in the field, and can't deal with autistic literalism?
• "Personal style" is valid, to a point, but developing a true personal style does not consist of taking pieces and aspects of flawed therapies and methods and merging them into a personally-appealing whole. It consists of finding a way to operate within guidelines and boundaries of best practices that you are capable of and comfortable with.
  

To parents:

• If your son has stomach problems which have required him to be hospitalized in the past, and the hospital found a series of massive cysts in his stomach... please take him to a real doctor and not some natropath. I very much do not enjoy the way he screams in pain while clutching his stomach during lunch. I also very much do not enjoy trying to teach children who are in considerable pain, and I know exactly how much even a minor stomach lesion can hurt.
• (In regards to the previous) No, I do not think that some "all-natural" digestive enzymes will solve the problem.
• Lady, your nineteen-year-old starting to show an interest in pictures of scantily-clothed women is not a sign of precocious puberty or overly high testosterone levels... and certainly not a medical indication that he should be chemically castrated by the Geiers!
• (Smiling) No, I don't think that your child's motor difficulties are "the autism". I think they're a direct result of the megadoses of Vitamin B6 you've been giving him for the last few years.
• When your child starts to exhibit symptoms of acute hypervitaminosis A, you immediately stop all supplementation. You do not just reduce the dose by ten percent or so.
• Please stop feeding your child candy whenever he punches me... or you... or anyone else, for that matter. Do I really need to explain what you're teaching him by doing this?
• No, giving him a toy is not an acceptable substitute!
• Please start showing some common sense. (Over and over again...)
• No, hookworms are not a good thing for a child to have!
• Children coming to school stoned out of their mind tend not to learn much. This is not an autism thing.
• ... let me get this straight. You're doing the body ecology diet and yogurt enemas and yet you think you're not into the woo?

And I could think of plenty more...